" A coin has two sides. Neither one make it more or less valuable." The Divine.
Hmmm. Didn't know what that meant, really, in the big scheme of things that I am meant to share...I received more understanding about it today. A post came through on facebook, a very common type. Defensive against well meaning people who say things to Grieving parents who are not able to value or appreciate them.
The two sided coin has everything to do with what I am about to share. Grieving parents are so shell shocked, feel like they are drowning in a tsunami of feelings and pain upon the death of a child, no matter how old they are. This is especially a profound thrown off a cliff, out of body, howling at the moon kind of experience for those who's child, or any loved one for that matter, have died suddenly and unexpectedly.
I will venture to say, although this is probably commonly understood at this point, that most of us have not grown up learning how to express grief by mourning in a healthy way, let alone mourn at all. Stuffing down, being strong and moving on is not healthy mourning and mourning and grief are NOT the same thing.
So, given this, our friends and loved ones who are also in the state of shock and triggered in their own ways do their best to support us. More often than not it is in the form of saying "platitudes" trying to lift up their loved ones to feeling better, look at a brighter side of life. Looking at theses platitudes now, after doing a tremendous amount of energy healing work in the past three years in my own mourning process, I can see the kindness and truth in them. And you can too! With healing your grief and beliefs if you choose to!
In most cases they encourage the mourning person to have GRATITUDE. Gratitude is absolutely essential to healing from the pain of grief. I see that these people mean well and are actually "angels" whose timing is off...At the beginning of grief, which may be years for some people, those words of kindness and encouragement cannot be heard from a place of truth, only experienced as salt being furiously poured on a seething wound...
This is where the two sides of a coin come in. Neither are wrong. both are valuable. We cannot get to a place of "hearing" and appreciating truth and having gratitude, until we peel away the layers of pain, and unresolved "stockpiled" grief from life.
This requires Intention to heal, being open to the possibility of healing and Doing the Work.
Let me tell you this, the "work" is a hell of alot easier than the pain of unresolved grief!
We can choose pain or peace. Absolutely. Staying in resentment and anger towards others who are offering to lift us up, is a choice to stay in pain. We are not broken, just under renovation.
Which side of the coin do you choose? Pain or Peace?
I am here to serve those who are open to and willing to heal grief. For more information in my website www.marypatcorrero.com are two groups I offer for adults. I also provide one on one Coaching to heal grief through Energy Health modalities.
I created the programs that I wish were available to me in the past. I am here to share all that has healed me (and i still personally use and embrace) and can heal you too!
firstname.lastname@example.org 856 220 6403