The Mother Trap
We often start to live vicariously through “our“ children; We experience pride, fun, happiness, sadness, frustration, embarrassment, shame, fear to name a few.
These are perfectly common human feelings although many of them do not feel good. Whether they feel good or not and even experienced are based on our personal beliefs about not only children but MOTHERS and MOTHERHOOD!
The beliefs that we have are most often multi generational and probably from multiple lifetimes! I have seen this very clearly in my own self and in my coaching clients.. Expectations, beliefs, fuzzy boundaries…
If I am a good mother then____ should happen.
If my child is good, well behaved (which is a judgment in itself) ____should happen.
If I am a _________mother then my child should_________.
Good mothers __________________.
There must have been something I could do to keep my child from dying.
I should have saved my child’s life.
I should have/wish I had kissed them more, said_____, said or did _______ more often….
I should have___________.
YOU NAME IT! ADD YOUR OWN!
We as humans do our best to love and care for our children, but somehow if they die or their lives don’t turn out as we think they should, we then start picking apart the fabric of OUR motherhood; analyzing, questioning, judging, reviewing EVERY detail of our child’s and our lives as mothers looking for the “kernel of truth”, the “golden nugget” that says “AH HA!
There it is! THAT’S WHAT YOU DID WRONG!! “
There is the REASON your child______ . OR WHY your child died or WHY you or your child_________.
Guilty as charged!!
WHY is THAT NOW?
Am I the ONLY ONE who did enough soul searching to "Heal a Monk" ???
I DOUBT IT!
To Be Continued...